Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Rules from the Man

Received the e-mail, say at last a guy has taken the time to write down all this.
The guys' side of story, must admit, it's pretty good.
We always hear "The Rules from the Female Side"
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules.
Please note....... These are all numbered "1" intensionally.
1. Man are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work on the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, you put it down. We need it down.
You don't hear we are complaining about, when you leave it down.
1. Sunday sports... It's like the full moon or the changing of tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is balckmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one, subtle hints do not works!
Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it.
1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answer to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY, if you need help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissoble in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are....... don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the way makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it to be done. Not both. If you already know the best way to do it, just do it yourself.
1. When ever possible, please say what ever you have to say during commercials..........
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL man see in only 16 colours, like windows default setting. Peach, for exanple, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumkin is also a fruit, we have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it is itches, it will be scratched. That's what we do.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question, you don't want to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go some where, absolutely anything you wear is fine..... really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics, like golfing and fishing.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, i know, i have to sleep on the couch tonite; but did you know men really don't mind that? It like camping.